Junior Apprentice 2011: Episode 7
It’s the candidates’ day off, so they play catch in the garden in front of a camera crew, like they always do. Unexpectedly, Lord Sugs turns up and tells them that the next task will be “corny”....
View ArticleJunior Apprentice 2011: The Final
Here we are, the final of the Young Apprentice! Finalists James and Zara are facing off to win a £25,000 trust-fund and the hearts of a nation. They’ll be making an online game and viral advert before...
View ArticleThe Apprentice 2012: Meet The Girls
BLADDY BIZNISS! Yes, that’s right, Lord Sugartits is back with another bunch of eager beavers bluffing and bungling their way to a dirty stack of cash that fell off the back of a van. But who are these...
View ArticleThe Apprentice 2012: Meet The Boys
So we’ve met the girls. Now let’s meet the boys because, frankly, they’re always better value for money when it comes to TV gold. THE BOYS Adam Corbally, 32 Adam is a market trader. No, not that sort....
View ArticleThe Apprentice 2012: Episode 1
Ah look. London Town in all its HD glory. Lush. Striding in to ruin the view, though, is this year’s bunch of cretinous muppets trying to trick Lord Sugartits into starting up a BLADDY BIZNISS with...
View ArticleThe Apprentice 2012: Episode 2
Lord Sugartits still isn’t looking for a friend or a dog or Lord Lucan. Though to be fair he’d have a better chance of finding Lucan than the amazing BLADDY BIZNISS mind that he seems to think he’s...
View ArticleThe Apprentice 2012: Episode 3
Last week, the weight of Maria’s eyehadow meant that she fell asleep in cars and so she was fired. This week, the remaining fools have to make a condiment to sell to people with no tastebuds. Gloopy....
View ArticleThe Apprentice 2012: Episode 4
Toot! Toot! This week, Lord Sugartits’ band of muppets have to flog toot (his words) to unsuspecting hipsters in Brick Lane in a couple of shops that he’s laid on for them. I don’t know how he laid on...
View ArticleThe Apprentice 2012: Episode 6
The eagle eyed amongst you will have noticed that last week’s bout of bladdy bizniss was not subject to my laughter. That’s because it featured Chinless Steve doing awkward pelvic thrusts and Azhar...
View ArticleHow to Fix The Apprentice
The Apprentice seems to have lost its way. The relentless bickering of pseudo-business sods and arbitrary tasks has taken its toll, and while this eighth series is belligerently thundering on, it’s...
View ArticleThe Apprentice 2013: Episodes 1 & 2
That’s right, gluttons for punishment, The Apprentice is back and with an even more reprehensible bunch of social miscreants than before. Because the BBC hates us, they aired the first two episodes on...
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